Sunday, March 8, 2020

God is always working

What's great about today...

I found my words!  I have been contemplating on a return to blogging, but couldn't find my words.  I have so much I want to say, but didn't know how to present it.  Tonight, I found my words, so here it goes...

God is always working.  When we are waiting for answers, God is working.  When we are unsure of the next steps, God is working.  When we feel like we are failing, God is working. When we are struggling, God is working. You better believe He is working. We can't see it. We can't always feel Him, but I am here to tell you, HE IS WORKING!  It’s hard for us to understand. Some things and circumstances we will never understand (here on Earth), but He has a plan. He has a plan that is far greater than we can even imagine.  At times, we are fortunate enough to actually see a glimpse of the plan as I believe He does reveal the process to us in hindsight if we are open to receive it. I am in awe of His love for me each and every day.  Does that mean I don’t ever take it for granted? Of course not! I am a sinner and I am grateful for His mercies. The Lord has been working in my life for quite some time now and I am just overwhelmed with his grace. 

Here is a little backstory. I took a huge leap of faith two years ago and quit my job, the only job I have had since I graduated from college. 14 years of the only thing I knew came to a close. God had a plan. I had peace about it.  I really felt like I was doing the right thing. I had a dream of opening a small fitness studio. Things just fell into place. Things came together. Things kept working out, obstacles kept getting in the way, yes, but they were always overcome.  I had no doubt God was working. 

 Fast forward to the present day, I closed my studio a week ago. Now, the first reaction I get from people when they hear the news is, “oh, I’m sorry.”  To this, my reaction is usually, “I’m not!” followed by a received puzzled look. I've even had people say, "are you really ok with closing?" You see, I feel so extremely blessed that I was afforded the opportunity to follow a dream.  How many people can say that, or better yet, are willing to do that? I was did! I can't be upset about that, are you kidding? Not everything or every season is meant to last forever.  Let me say that again. Not every thing is meant to last forever! It took me a long time to realize this. However, let me tell you how freeing it is to fully comprehend that now.

Now, let me shed some light on the last two years. God was working. Jamie and I practically grew up in a church.  When the doors were open, we were there. The youth group was our family away from family. We got married...went to church. We moved... went to church. We moved again... went to church (now a different one). Until about 6 years ago or so, we were always in church. Then, life got busy, schedules got hectic, selfishness took over, laziness grabbed hold, and our steadfast attendance in church started to decline….until it was non-existent. Did we ever stop believing? No! We just let “life” dictate our choices.  Our circumstances won out every single time. We quit going, but God was still working. About 2 years ago on Easter Sunday, we decided to try again at a different location (not that anything was wrong with the other). We loved it! We continued to go, but once again “life” happened and our priorities were not in order. The last two years with my business were and are such a blessing. I choose to see them as such. Was it easy? NOPE! Was it worth it? YEP! Without that, we would not be where we are today.  The hardships involved with owning my own business were just that HARD. I was heading down the same path of my previous job yet again. My work came first. Our family suffered. I was literally spending 12 hours a day with my family and 10 of those were while we were sleeping! I would drop Colby off after school and leave for work. 4 of 7 days a week I was a Wife/Mom only by title. I wasn’t providing the things I needed to for my family or for me. The thing about a fitness business is I can only work when the majority of people are not working. Most classes were before 8 or after 4:30.  I couldn't help with homework or even eat dinner with them many nights. This got to me. This was driving a wedge between what I loved and who I loved. I made many decisions based on what other people wanted me to do and those people didn't include my family. Don’t get me wrong, this was MY choice. I take 100% responsibility for this, but it was what it was. It was NOT ok, not for us. I spent many hours and days feeling lost. I spent many many moments in prayer. Throughout all of this, God was working. Jamie and I have had some hard conversations. We’ve had to give up some things we've always wanted.  He has had to sacrifice so much for my dream. We have had to get help from family and friends on many occasions. We could never begin to express our gratitude for them. How blessed are we to have them?! We have struggled and yet we knew how to put on a good front. Guess what though? God was working.

Just before Christmas, we decided to go home. Home was the church where we grew up . Home was the church where we met. Home was the church where we were baptized . Home was the church where we were married. After one “visit”, it was like we had never left. We felt like we were finally home. But, God was still working. It’s not a coincidence that God opened the door for me to pursue my business.  It’s not a coincidence that God allowed us to walk through the struggles of the past two years. It’s not a coincidence that God brought us back to Dalraida Baptist Church in December. It’s also not a coincidence that our only son, Colby accepted Christ as his Savior this February during revival and was baptized this Sunday at “home”. It’s not a coincidence!!! IT WAS HIS PLAN! God was working! 

We don’t always see it or feel it, but he is there.  He is listening. He hears our cries, our desires, our fears, our secrets, our prayers.  He IS working. Please, don’t ever forget that. It's like a mother who is frantically getting the bottle ready for the crying baby or the teacher diligently preparing the lesson for tomorrow's class.  It’s like the farmer painstakingly tending the crops for weeks and months before harvest or the chef carefully preparing a meal in the restaurant kitchen. They’re working. Just because we don’t see it with our own eyes, doesn’t mean it's not getting done.  It is part of the process, part of the plan. He is working. He is ALWAYS working. Trust the process. Trust His plan.

God is so good and Praise God, today is another day!

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